By Lawrence Carroll

Special to The Eagle

According to the majority of Americans, the major causes of stress are the worry about money and work. As with most stressors, they represent the tip of a deeper iceberg of hidden reasons.

What hundreds of people in my workshops have revealed to me is they feel stressed trying to keep others happy. Mothers try to keep their families happy even when sick or rundown. Teachers try to keep their administrators happy even if they don't agree with the ways schools are run. Employees try to keep their bosses happy even if they are overburdened and disrespected. Children try to keep their parents happy even if it means they become anxious, sad or depressed.

Why is trying to keep others happy so stressful?

The answer lies in trying to live up to others' expectations. When trying to live up to other people's expectations you can forget to take care of yourself. You start to lose touch with your deeper needs, feelings and even gifts. Your gifts are what you are born with and those qualities that attract others to you. When you express your gifts you feel happy for no reason and others see you as natural and authentic. The more you express your gifts your needs start to fall away and your self-esteem grows.

Continued at The Berkshire

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